THE LAST EXAM

In the last few minutes of life, he sees his sweetheart worried, sobbing, on the other side of the door of the operation theatre. As the lights are switched on, a tide of thoughts overcome his nearly lifeless body. As he takes his last exam he learns the greatest lesson of life...At first he tries and accepts the unavoidable but slowly he realises that he has unfinished tasks. Those tiny little details he overlooked branding them unimportant suddenly caught all his attention.  He tries to negotiate with death, alas, in vain. Following are the last of all the memories and thoughts:

THE LAST EXAM

Many a suns bright glare back at me.
They dont smile or nod. My chances are weak.
So understanding, complacent, they know what I want to say.
Lying like a log, I try but cannot speak!

People around me, they move in a frenzy so blurry.
This might as well be my last exam, what is the hurry!
I have known to party, now I'd know this.
From the first cry of life to death's wicked hiss.

"You have come too stealthily! I accuse you! Unfair!"
"But you had all your life, to care, to repair!"
"Yes, but I thought there is more I could then do"
"You cannot schedule eveything, can you?"

I stay silent, even in my mind now.
What has gone has gone, I "couldn't" reap what I had sown.
I see blurry faces, peeping hard from behind the door.
"You've been my life, its not you but me who's alone."

This is my last exam and for once I dont care
About what I fetch, about fair, unfair
For once, its not what I get that matters
But what I lost in my frenzy, my despair.

If only I could trade all I have "earned" for some time.
If I could write our daughter, a new little rhyme
If I could kiss you "you are my world" I'd fondly say
If not a 'goodbye', I'd like to hear a last 'hey!'

If only each time I had spoken, I had looked into your eyes!
If we had had dinner not over TV, but in candle light!
My brain is going numb, but I can suddenly count,
The many years of life I missed for some fake delight.

If only they'd let you in, I could atleast hear
If you blame me for abandonment, my dear?
Do you know I love you? Do you know my fear?
Will I be in your heart, or atleast somewhere near?

This is my last exam, right here, right now.
Lying like a log, I know I cannot prepare.
Trust me, I am upset, I am angry, I am sad
That the result would be for only you to bear.

-Mx

MIDNIGHT AUTUMN

MIDNIGHT AUTUMN

To care about the world rest,
a dream, profound, but dream?
winds unreal, tangible, strong,
fly us far like elder leaves
ochre winged, we feel like birds
ochre jewel but in ochre throng.

Glibly along the flow of winds;
who sent them, we wont think.
Passive, yet smug with flight,
Far away until where is chosen
alone by the lords of winds
to places, we seek our delight.

At midnight, hums a single song
"You strike ochre for ochre",
Autumn beseech us to say,
"However much you turn to fight
its only so far you can go,
all ochre you shall all stay."

"Why care about the world rest
your world is your dream deep
a sweet nothing for you to live.
At midnight autumn, look up,
beyond ochre and your rosy green
at all the light the moon can give."

-Mx

MIDNIGHT AUTUMN

It is a poem that talks about some aspects of human behaviour
It talks about how this whole world is just a dream, one day we will all wake up and what we acheive in this world wont matter
'Midnight autumn' implies the end of autumn, symbolic for the end of ignorance, false pride and vice.
The poem begins with a question...

'To care.... ?'

It provokes the reader to think how much shd he care about the world, as in, how much shd he bother about what people think and how much shd he judge others. It says 'a dream profound but dream' implying that no matter how realistic and deep the dream may be, it still is only a dream
Our lives are compared to those of ochre coloured leaves seen in autumn.
Wind carries them.

Here wind is a metaphor for an unseen force that can be felt and is strong (God?Destiny?)
so, destiny takes us where we reach. Destiny makes us what we become
(And thus no need to judge each other)
Sometimes, as we fly along the wind, we feel highly about ourselves. (Compared to a leaf feeling like a bird. The difference is that while a bird can fly on its own, a leaf is passively carried by the wind)

An ochre leaf may feel grand, like some jewel, but if it looks around carefuly, everyone else is also ochre
Second stanza elaborates on the flight of the leaves / the course of our lives.
It says that along the wind we smoothly flow without thinking who sends them for us and why. Despite the fact that destiny gets us whatever we have, some people get high headed.
Third stanza says, that at midnight (at the end) autumn sings only one song (one message)
this means that when the autumn of ignorance ends and for it to end,  we all must understand one thing:
People try to demean people (ochre strikes ochre) but no matter how much we fight, we can only go so far as is destined for us and that we are all same and remain what we are meant to be (ochre you shall all stay)
The message also provokes people to not be bothered by what others tell them.  It says, our world is our dream, deep and sweet and yet nothing at the same time.
(Thus telling people to live the way they want to and yet not be so competitive as, being a dream , it will end one day)
In the last three lines, the message says that at the end of the autumn (autumn= ignorance,  deceit, discord, all things bad )
we must look not at others (beyond ochre=beyond others) and not at our silly goals (beyong rosy green= beyond the dreams of spring)
and instead, look up, at the moon and see the light (=get enlightened and realise the simple truth in the message)