THE LAST EXAM

In the last few minutes of life, he sees his sweetheart worried, sobbing, on the other side of the door of the operation theatre. As the lights are switched on, a tide of thoughts overcome his nearly lifeless body. As he takes his last exam he learns the greatest lesson of life...At first he tries and accepts the unavoidable but slowly he realises that he has unfinished tasks. Those tiny little details he overlooked branding them unimportant suddenly caught all his attention.  He tries to negotiate with death, alas, in vain. Following are the last of all the memories and thoughts:

THE LAST EXAM

Many a suns bright glare back at me.
They dont smile or nod. My chances are weak.
So understanding, complacent, they know what I want to say.
Lying like a log, I try but cannot speak!

People around me, they move in a frenzy so blurry.
This might as well be my last exam, what is the hurry!
I have known to party, now I'd know this.
From the first cry of life to death's wicked hiss.

"You have come too stealthily! I accuse you! Unfair!"
"But you had all your life, to care, to repair!"
"Yes, but I thought there is more I could then do"
"You cannot schedule eveything, can you?"

I stay silent, even in my mind now.
What has gone has gone, I "couldn't" reap what I had sown.
I see blurry faces, peeping hard from behind the door.
"You've been my life, its not you but me who's alone."

This is my last exam and for once I dont care
About what I fetch, about fair, unfair
For once, its not what I get that matters
But what I lost in my frenzy, my despair.

If only I could trade all I have "earned" for some time.
If I could write our daughter, a new little rhyme
If I could kiss you "you are my world" I'd fondly say
If not a 'goodbye', I'd like to hear a last 'hey!'

If only each time I had spoken, I had looked into your eyes!
If we had had dinner not over TV, but in candle light!
My brain is going numb, but I can suddenly count,
The many years of life I missed for some fake delight.

If only they'd let you in, I could atleast hear
If you blame me for abandonment, my dear?
Do you know I love you? Do you know my fear?
Will I be in your heart, or atleast somewhere near?

This is my last exam, right here, right now.
Lying like a log, I know I cannot prepare.
Trust me, I am upset, I am angry, I am sad
That the result would be for only you to bear.

-Mx